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It’s been quiet. Not the peaceful kind of quiet but the kind that follows a missed opportunity or sudden tragedy. The kind that is full of conjecture and speculation.

They all steal glances at me when they think I am not aware of it. They watch me in shifts and make excuses to be in the same room as I am. Milly came to stoke the fire twice as much as she needed to, Mother searched for a half of an hour for her darning needle, and Mrs. Clayton came in to dust and straighten up twice. She was the most believable.

Father is the only one who hasn’t intruded on my privacy. I hear him pass back and forth and huff heavily at all the commotion the others are making.

I know they are worried about me and won’t have any peace until Dr. Darion has examined me. He will come in a couple of days. He is out of the county at the moment and can not be reached, thank goodness.

I need this time to gather myself - to figure things out. What will I tell him? I have to tell him something.

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I don’t know why I did it!

Cleaning up after Father’s friends took longer then I expected it too. They talked together in his study all evening. Even though the doors were closed we heard every word. They are all very excited about the Wheeling Convention and the recent vote to divide Virginia into two states.

When I finally made it to my room he was already there. Before I could stop myself I went straight to the window, pulled the curtains all the way back and stood there looking down at him. I was still holding the candle I had brought from the kitchen.

I must have surprised him. He took a couple of steps forward then stopped on the edge of the street. Then he leaped! I was face to face with him! He was just inches from me – suspended outside my window – just a thin piece of glass dividing us! I jerked back. I fell over the bed and landed on the floor.

I SCREAMED!!

I have never screamed so hard in my life.

My throat is raw.

I refuse to go back into that room.

The family is huddled together in the corner whispering. They are sending Mr. Clayton for the Doctor. They keep looking at me. Even if I told them the truth they would not believe me. I know what they are thinking. I have to stay silent.

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Today went like most every other day. Thankfully, Mrs. Clayton didn’t mention my appearance this morning. Mother wouldn’t have taken it well. She tries to be strong but I know she is still fragile and fusses over me a lot more than I deserve. I hate worrying her.

I cleaned, cooked, studied, cooked, and cleaned. But he was in my thoughts the whole time. I couldn’t concentrate. “J'ai besoin de repos,” was the only French I learned today. It’s true, I really could have used a rest. But now that it’s late I can’t sleep.

He didn’t come tonight. The street below is empty. It looks peaceful and quiet. I remember when I used to stay up and watch the late-night shoppers pass back and forth in front of the house. I wanted to be them. I wanted to be free to go where I pleased and stay up until the moon was high. All I want to do now is stay here in the dark comfort of my room.

I wish I could feel relief but I know he will be back.

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I must have fallen asleep suddenly. Mrs. Clayton gave me an objectionable look when she saw me this morning. I was a sight; hair disheveled, swollen eyes, wrinkled clothes, lying on top of the covers…but she’s a good woman. She knows better than to ask.

She probably thinks I was swooning over Elijah. Better that then the truth. But what is the truth? That I see a man outside my window nearly every night? That he wears the same clothes? Stands the same way? That he has done this for the last couple of months?

I could tell my family but I know they would think it was outrageous. They may even think it was happening again call Dr. Darion. That’s the last person I want to see right now. I know this is real. I feel it. It haunts me in a way I can’t describe. It’s dark and I am terrified but I am also…I don’t know…captivated?

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He was there again, looking up at my window from the street below. He didn’t try to hide this time. He just stood there, inside the glow of a lantern hung outside Mr. Bailey’s shop. He kept his face in the shadows the entire time. But I felt his eyes. They are black. I know they are. Something inside of me knows.

He was so still.

I stood back from the window and I don’t think he saw me. It was so cold I could see my breath but I didn’t dare light a fire. I didn’t want him to see me. I didn't want him to know I saw him. He's getting bolder...but who is he?

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